


I want to cuddle the shit out of you!

by orphan_account



Category: Deadpool (2016), Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb)
Genre: M/M, Protective Wade, ace peter, wade doesn't care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-22 06:43:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13758495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Wade meets a Cute new waiter at Weasel's Bar. Him being ace isn't a deal breaker for a certain Merc with a mouth





	1. Chapter 1

     “Oh my god,” Wade breathes, tapping Weasel on the shoulder and pointing. “Who are they?”

     “Hm? Oh, Peter Parker. They started working here earlier this week, I think.” Weasel said shrugging.

     “I’m going to marry them,” Wade mumbles. “I’m going to marry them and cherish them and have an adorable honeymoon and have kids together and it’s going to be perfect.”

    “Yeah, sure, good luck with that,” Weasel said.

    “What’s that supposed to mean?” Asked Wade confused

    “See that pin they have? See it?” Weasel said pointing to the pin on Peter’s shirt.

    “…. Yeah?” Asked Wade confused

    “That’s the ace flag. You ain’t getting in their pants anytime soon, buddy.”

    “Who said  _ anything _  about getting in their pants? I want to know them, and love them, and be cute with them. If sex is off the table for them, it’s off the table for me.” Said Wade casually with a shrug.

    “Are you being serious? All you ever do is have sex, I’m very much surprised you haven’t had a bunch of STDs in fact.” Said Weasel clearly surprise.

    “Just because I get laid like I’m Ryan Gosling doesn't mean I need it.” Wade pointed out,” plus I’ve always been able to handle my own needs. And I’ve read about that bullshit of keeping an open relationship with asexuals and I’m not into that. I want that cuddle loves that in the movies and none of the drama bullshit that makes it more complicated.”

    “Will… if you really going to try and do that romance bullshit then I shall help you because of my wingman duties, he likes taking pictures of superhero and he's really too smart to be working here. He getting a science degree in something really smart, I just can’t remember. Also, I think he like pizza.”

    “Do I ever tell you how much I love you? Because I really do” Asked Wade with a grin.

    “Shut up and go get yourself a hot boyfriend Wade. Go over there and be the knight in shines in arms everyone wants, expressly now. I’m pretty sure he’s being sexually harassed.” Weasel said pointing at two biker guys.

    “Weasel hold my beer, some people are about to get the douche knocked out of them,” yelled Wade and quickly head over. Peter was obviously uncomfortable being around them and looking to leave as soon as he could.

    “Oh come on, a cute guy like you was made to suck cock,” said Asshole 1 as he tried to grab Peter’s butt.

    “No, can you just tell me what you want to drink or leave?” asked Peter moving away.

    “Oh come on babe, don't be like that,” said Asshole 2

    “Hey assholes, are you deaf or what? He said no so fuck off,” yelled Wade as he walked over.

    “He just playing hard to get. And we’re fine with taking what we want.” Said Asshole one

    “Will I don't think he is so,” Wade pulling out a large knife and stave the table between Asshole 2 figures causing them to freeze in fear.

    “So you have two options here. You either leave or we can do this the fun way and I can shove this up your ass.” Wade threatened with a glare

    Asshole 2 fell out of his chair and land hard on the ground with a thud. Asshole 1 knocked his chair down as he ran off.

    “Steve wait up,” yelled Asshole 2 as he scrambled to get up and runs after him.

    “Thanks for helping me I was really worried they would do something. But I don’t want you to get in trouble with my boss for messing up the table so you should leave.” Peter said trying to move Wade to the exit.

    “Nah, Weasel and I go way back. He actually pointed it to me you were getting messed with.” Wade said as he points to Weasle who waved back. “ Honestly if the pin didn’t clue them in then they should have just taken your no for an, however. Man, I wished they took the fun way, I really wanted to stab them,” whined Wade.

    “Wait you know what that means?” asked Peter surprised.

    “Sure do pretty boy. Not to be to forward but think I can get a date?” asked Wade hopefully

    “But I can't have sex, and I don’t know your name,” said Peter with a confused explanation.

    “So? it's not a deal breaker, I can handle my own needs. Plus that means a shit ton of cuddles, and cuddles are fucking amazing. That should be an anti-drug slogan, Hugs not Drugs.” Wade said honesty and smile at seeing Peter blush. “And the knight in shining armor here is Wilson, Wade Wilson.”

    “Will, you did save men so I guess I’ll give you one chance,” said Peter causing Wade to cheer. “You better not make me regret this.”

    “Don’t you worry about a thing baby boy, one chance is all I’ll need to sweep you off your feet.” Said Wade grinning.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys really seemed to like this so I wrote their date.

    Wade smiled as he walked to the pizza place him and Peter agreed to meet up for dinner. They’ve been talking for about a week before Wade decided it was time to ask him to dinner. As the Pizza joint was in sight he noticed that Peter was already standing outside waiting, Wade jogged over.

   “I didn’t keep you wait too long, did I baby boy?” Asked Wade grinning as Peter blushed slightly.

   “Nah, I just got here a few minutes ago.” SAid Peter giving him a kind smile.

   “Then let’s go in, I don’t know about you but I’m starving,” Wade said opening the door. “The most handsome go first.”

   Peter rolled his eye but walked in. “So what kind of Pizza do you want?” Peter asked as he looked up at the board.

   “How about two slices of Meat lover Pizza for me and you can get whatever you want to go?” Asked Wade.

   “To go?” Asked Peter confused. 

   “I’m going to take you some magical to eat,” Said Wade.

   “I’ll get a slice pepperoni pizza and a couple of breadsticks then,” Answered Peter, Wade went up and order but paid before Peter could talk out his wallet. 

   “Hey!’ Peter exclaimed.

   “No way are you paying, I asked you out so I’m paying, you can get the next one if you want to.” Said, Wade, as he grabs their bag, with the box in it, to go. “Now come on, don’t want the food to get cold now do we?” 

    “Fine,” Huffted Peter as he followed Wade out.

    “Don’t worry you’ll love this.” Wade treasures as he leads Peter through the street. Wade lead Peter to a secluded place in the park, a single bench overlooking a gouges pond with a few ducks still about.

    “Wow,” Said Peter as he looked at the scene.

    “I found it a while back, no one seems to come here so I like to come out and think about deep and meaningful shit.” Explained Wade as he sat down next to Peter. “You like taking pictures so I figured you might like the scenery.”

    “I love it,” Peter said smiling.

    “Great so let’s eat,” Wade said as he opened the box.

    "This si really good!." Said Peter after taking a bit of his pizza. "How have I've not had this before?"

    "The Royal Ginger's Pizzeria, open a couple of months ago so it's not all that surprising," Wade said shrugging. "The owner and their husband run, they so couple goals it as made me come close to vomiting."

    "They can't be that cute can they?" Asked Peter intrigued.

    "They are, expressly when Ash wears matching suits with Steve, it is just too cute." Wade explained, "Steve always brings them flowers on Mondays, on Friday's Ash brings Steve his favorite cookies."

    "That does sound like couple goals," Peter said nodding in agreements. "So they're both mean?"

    "Nope," Wade said popping the p. "Ash is Genderfluid, they switch between male, female, and both. Steve's a Flexible asexual too. You know the kind that sometimes has sex with their partners."

    "Wow, it must have been hard for them to find some that aren't bothered with that stuff," Said Peter looking at the ducks.

    "It's one of the reasons I don't really care about you not want to have sex period." Said Wade studying Peter," If you want I can introduce you to them?"

    "That would be amazing!" Said Peter smiling.

    Wade held Peter hand as they walked down the street back to Peter's place.

    “Will this is me,” Peter said standing next to some stair into an apartment building. “I had an amazing night.”

    “Those that mean there might be another,” Wade asks hopefully.

    “Differently,” Peter said smiling.

    Wade leaned in waiting for Peter to move back, but he didn’t so he gave him a pick on the cheek 

    “You can pick our next one then.” Said Wade grinning, Peter nodded and gave him a wave as he walked inside.

    “I GOT A CUTE DATE!” Wade cheered fist bumping the air with a large grin. 


End file.
